$14 BUY

Ah, the good old days, when men spread bear fat on their whiskers, babies were given brandy to help them sleep, and fever was treated with a compound of arsenic, ammonia, and opium. Turpentine plaster, anyone?

Well, perhaps the medical field has come a long way, but we think Mr. Dick was onto something with the bear grease. Nevertheless, local grizzlies are somewhat reluctant to give up their fat for pomades. And so we’ve come up with something even better.

Our Bear Grease Moustache Wax is all natural, and it doesn’t smell like bear hide. Better yet, it’s vegan – no bears were harmed in the making of this product. Instead, we use pure cocoa butter, candilia wax and olive oil, and scent it with just a hint of anise essential oil to give it a scent reminiscent of absinthe and opium. You can tame those unruly whiskers and dream of wild women in corsets and bloomers while resting calm in the knowledge that nothing about this product will kill you or cause dementia in your later years. That’s always a bonus, isn’t it?

(Don’t tell anyone, but our Moustache Wax can double as lip balm in a pinch. Just in case any of those wild women happen to come within kissing distance!)

Each reusable tin contains 2 ounces of Bear Grease.